A marriage counselor, Mrs. Bosede Ola-Samuel, has stated that irregular sexual activity among couples is a significant factor leading to the dissolution of many marriages. Ola-Samuel made this assertion during a lecture titled “Dangers of Irregular Sex” at the 2023 Nigeria Union of Journalists (NUJ) Oyo State council Press Week, held on Thursday.
She pointed out that many women endure their marriages rather than enjoying them, often subjected to irregular and unsatisfactory sexual experiences by their husbands. This, in turn, contributes to the breakdown of many marriages, as some women find it difficult to tolerate.
Ola-Samuel drew a comparison, stating that “many men act like helicopters, ready for immediate takeoff when their engines kick in, while women are like airplanes that require their pilot to kickstart them and taxi for a longer time before taking off.”
She emphasized that the most important sexual organ for women is not their breasts but their minds, highlighting that many wives reject sexual advances from their husbands because they are not aroused by mere visual stimuli, unlike men who tend to be immediately responsive to such stimuli.
She explained that women often only begin to enjoy sexual intimacy when their husbands have completed their “flight” and have “landed.” She referred to the “fire brigade approach” of hurried sexual encounters, which can be a turn-off for many women.
However, Ola-Samuel stressed the health benefits of regular sexual activity for men, particularly in preventing prostate enlargement or cancer, especially in old age.
To promote enjoyable and fulfilling sexual experiences for both husbands and wives, especially during the menopausal stage of a woman’s life, when physical changes occur, Ola-Samuel recommended good communication, romantic gestures, creating a sense of happiness, and helping with household chores. These factors can help women accept and enjoy sex, leading to a more harmonious and loving family environment.